mgmspeakdating

       When I used to watch Cheers I always wondered what it would be like to have a place where everybody knows my name. Well, apparently I found it. It seems that I have taken many, many dates to my favorite local Indian place.      Not all restaurants are open due to Covid. Mr. Park (named so because our first date was in a park with masks on, oh the fun of Covid) and I were looking for a place after our original destination turned out to be disappointing.       I sighed, "Well, how about Indian food?"      Mr. Park smiled, "I love Indian food."      Of course he does. We walk in and I wonder if they are just doing takeout. Nope. The manager smiles and greets me. "Oh hello Melanie, good to see you again ."      He's now looking past me to my date. He shoots me a knowing look and takes me to my "regular" table.      Now I suppose this restaurant is a good gauge of whether...

        Around a month from now, many of us will be surrounded by family and friends for Thanksgiving. We will have an opportunity to strengthen our relationships. My favorite part of Thanksgiving is being able to thank the people in my life for being there. People come and go, but those that remain are precious. I want to be sure that they always know that.                 What do you offer the people in your life? Are your relationships authentic? Overcoming superficiality in relationships requires dropping your walls and being willing to share yourself with others. This isn't just for romantic relationships. This includes friends and family as well.       Ok, the post is done.           Well, it's not that simple. You see, being willing to let people see your true self involves risk. There is a risk of rejection, risk of judgment, and risk of being hurt. It is so mu...

       I don't like to get up early,      I prefer the cover of night      I don't know when you like me      I really don't know when I like you      I see black and white and refuse to see gray      I'm closed, yet I want to be open      I want nothing, but I want to be swept away         in romance      Kiss me so that I can pull close and run away      I know I'm unloveable,      but can't you find me charming?      I speak with barbed tongue and expect you           to reply,      but the only reply will ever be       good-bye.  

Photo by Kat Jayne from Pexels The divorce was just the beginning. Once I had the courage to move on from that, I moved on to other experiences. This is not easy to write. Writing this is exposing deeper feelings that I would normally keep to myself. The only reason that I do it is that I know out there may be someone who may need to hear this. I have been reading a lot of Brene Brown. She speaks of being willing to step into the arena. I get that. When we are willing to open ourselves to others, we are made vulnerable. I think a point that she misses is that we step into the arena to win. If you lose every time, how willing are we to keep fighting? When you spend a lifetime with someone, they know you well. My ex told me that I would be easily replaced and that I would have great difficulty finding connections for myself. At the time I laughed. I thought he was ridiculous. How could anyone resist charming me? Apparently, they all can. I went on many dates with ...

  Photo by Mahkeo on Unsplash       I have been casually seeing someone since October. I recently asked him when he last was in love. He told me it was long ago. That really helped me understand why he hasn't been married, why his relationships end. All these women were in relationships with a man who didn't love them. Who would stay, knowing that? I quietly closed my heart to the possibility that love would ever grow there. I understood.       What we have is not planted in solid ground to grow. It is more like the wind. We feel the breeze blow across us, making us smile because it feels good. Teasing us with its transitory dance, it refuses to stay. We can not predict when it will come and go. We can enjoy the moment, but it is only a point in time. Wind turbines can capture the power of the wind, but I do not have that power.       I like this one. He's cute. He plays role-playing games and loves to cook. We share those...

  Photo by  Vera Arsic  from  Pexels I normally write very positive posts. Well, not tonight. Many times when I was considering divorce I thought to myself, "Yeah, but dating is worse than what I am putting up with." I wish that I could say that I was wrong. The one thing everyone I know who has been on online dating sites agrees on is how terrible many of the experiences are. I force myself to get out there so that I don't become a hermit, but it's not pretty out there. If you are new to online dating, I'm going to help you out by sharing my perceptions so far. It has been unpleasant enough for me to consider backing away altogether, but for now, I will stay in the game. I may have a few teeth missing and I may have been knocked down a few times, but I am a scrapper. 😁 One challenge is figuring out what I want and what my date wants. I think I can best describe what I'm looking for a connection and depth without an immediate commitment. I wan...