If I Were a Boy

 

I'm a spy. I admit it. I look very feminine, but inside I am mostly guy. Therefore, I truly do understand how great it is to be a guy right now. I know we are supposed to be in the era of women's empowerment, but let me tell you with or without subtlety, this is still a man's world.

If I were a guy I would love Tinder. I would have a nice house, my great job, and all of my hobbies. When I want sex I go on Tinder and pick out an array of women to talk with. Out of those women, maybe I will see many at the same time or maybe one for a few weeks and then switch them out. I will not need to do anything for these women. I don't need to take them out. I don't need to become a partner. I don't have to talk to them or text them unless I feel like it. I don't need to get attached. I don't need to have inconvenient feelings. I can fuck with absolutely no responsibility (except to have safe sex of course).

The guy dictates when he wants to see the women he is seeing. He may politely ask if she is available, but if she is not he will be more likely to go on to the next one than to work with her. If you as a woman assert power or control on Tinder, that's wonderful. You will lose the guy. He will just move on to the next woman. We can always say no and feel empowered and then we get to spend the evening alone with our cats.

Sure, we could select a very traditional guy, but maybe we don't want that. That guy may treat us with respect as long as we fulfill the female archetype role. Maybe we want a progressive guy that is willing to give an ounce of effort to at least make us feel special even though we are members of an unseen harem. The only difference between Bumble and Tinder is on Bumble we get the privilege of contacting the guy first. Big whoop. Oh, and on Bumble we can't hide our location so guys will see how far away we are. Yes, for some guys, a few miles out of the way is a few miles out of question.

There are many videos on YouTube offering advice for women on dating sites. Mostly things like being sweet and don't text him too much. Oh, and don't let him get too fresh. In this climate, that is hilarious. We are not courting in the Victorian era so why are we playing Victorian games? He is not going to show up in your parlor with a calling card offering to take a stroll through the gardens. If he is, please give him my number. You know, this all is the kind of advice that we may have seen a half a century (or longer) ago. The truth is that may just be where we are, only without romance or expectations of a stable monogamous relationship. If we don't like that we can either refuse to play along and be alone, or play along and get only a small fraction of what we hope to get from a relationship.

There are a few who I respect and who respect me. We are spending time together because we are not playing the male-female Olympic games. We are direct and honest and more equal than many of the dating app scenarios. I appreciate you. I wanted to take you out of this commentary because you are the exception, rather than the rule. I thank you, rare beings.

It would be so much easier to be a man in this climate. Instead, I get to smile as you call yourself a gentleman while telling me that you are sleeping with half the single women in town. How poly. You do not offer much, but I will embrace you. It will not satisfy my inner longing. I can't ask for your time. I can't ask for your heart. I will take your offering. At night as I lay awake, I will dream of a soul connection of real power and equality that will make my heart sing. I suppose I am a woman after all.